


reborn, wild-eyed, free

by linguale



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blood and Gore, Canonical Character Death, Castration, Cock Warming, Emasculation, Emetophilia, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Grooming, Incest, Injury, Knives, M/M, Parent/Child Incest, Pedophilia, Physical Abuse, Rape, Temporary Character Death, Underage Sex, Unsafe Sex, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:06:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23150656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linguale/pseuds/linguale
Summary: It’s in the kitchen with a knife.(Higgs’ Journals 24-26 but with a lot more incest and gore. Read the tags.)
Relationships: Higgs Monaghan/Daddy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	reborn, wild-eyed, free

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SERIOUS, READ THE TAGS
> 
> thank you butters/starphy for reading through this & giving me a title because i had no more braincells

He’s learned to love Daddy’s love. Through the blood, bruises, broken bones, and the tar bubbling up from his throat before he turns over to puke.

But that’s just love, isn’t it? 

It took a long time, he’ll admit, years and years of thinking the pain was pain when it was always love, because Daddy loves with his fists. All the times he cried and died, only to come out squeaky clean and immaculate, just like how Daddy didn’t like that the first time but got to love killing his nephew/son/whore just to see all the mottled skin wiped clean. When he was young, Daddy would take the time to bathe him after so he could see the perfect skin, but that hasn’t happened for a long, long time now. Higgs is grown enough to do that himself, he doesn’t have to sit on Daddy’s cock while he scrubs the dirt and blood away.

Daddy’s little boy.

He doesn’t miss it, he remembers his ass burning while it was stretched open and holding him still. He always woke up like that when he was getting cleaned, though, so Daddy must have slipped his cock in while Higgs was busy trying to find himself in the Seam — while he was dead. Higgs can only imagine him moaning while his body was resetting, bones slotting in place and his muscles going back to what they’re supposed to be, or maybe his hips pushed back together while it happens because Daddy broke his pelvis with his dick, or he held him too hard fucking him against the wall with his feet dangling. Or maybe Daddy broke him while he was dead.

Whatever happened, he never liked it. He knows it’s Daddy’s love though. Higgs remembers the murmurs in his ear that he’d otherwise squirm away and Daddy’s only trying to help, because Lord knows Higgs is just a child and can’t do anything right, including cleaning himself. “It’s to keep you still, keep you anchored so you can’t run away like I know you will.”

Now Daddy shoves a chair under the door handle so Higgs can’t sneak out before he’s ready. Then it’s cleaning up his mess that he left—one pool of tar that he puked when he came back and the drops of blood and cum from where Daddy ripped him open and spilled into him, leaving his dead body and loose ass for everything to leak out. Daddy never touched any of that, as if it was the responsibility of whoever touched it last or who it came out of last. Whichever one, the answer was always Higgs.

Tar stains the blankets, so Daddy makes sure to shove Higgs off the bed after the first time he pukes tar when he’s maybe four or five. He doesn’t know why because he’s too young and Daddy didn’t ever say, but Higgs is smart enough to connect the dots later. Daddy’s making it easier for him, so he doesn’t have to scrub until his hands are cracking and the tar stains are still there. It’s been a long time since his hands have gotten that bad too, because Daddy knows best. 

He’s older now, finally growing hair on his chest even though Daddy never thought he would. He feels what Daddy must feel too, feels his prick get hard and he gets to cum like Daddy too, even though it’s always before Daddy’s ever done; Daddy says it’s because he’s still a child, still getting excited over everything that he comes too fast, but that it’s okay, because Daddy won’t stop because of that. He’s getting taller too and his voice is dropping. He’s becoming a man. He can tell Daddy doesn’t like that part one bit, sometimes he hears it under his breath that he can’t lie to himself anymore and it’s _Higgs’ fault_. That he can’t pretend Higgs’ ass is just a tight and dry pussy anymore because he’s looking like a growing boy now with his low voice and his hard dick.

Higgs doesn’t know what that means, he’s never seen a girl in his life, doesn’t know what a pussy is, but he knows it means he’s not good enough for Daddy. He cuts off his dick and balls since Daddy didn’t seem to like them anyway. Sure, it hurt, but if Daddy liked him better like this, then it’d be worth it. 

Daddy loves it, but not as much as having his cock buried in his tightening ass after Higgs dies. “It’s too much work,” he says, “you die and sometimes you do it wrong and I don’t get to have fun. That doesn’t seem right now, does it? Doing this all for Daddy and you fuck up?”

Daddy doesn’t get mad. He still fucks him, just holds his mouth shut or clenches his fist on his throat so he can’t hear Higgs’ boyish voice. Anything to keep the illusion. 

It’s in the kitchen with a knife.

Daddy’s fucking him face up for once; he’s been shoving his face in a pillow for the last few weeks. Higgs feels the sweat and spit drip down on his face while Daddy’s huffing away fucking the daylights out of him. He remembers that Daddy loves him, that the hand on his neck is because of love and that he can’t keep quiet so Daddy has to do it for him. He knows he’s cum as he dies because he feels the cum on his belly after he coughs up tar and Daddy’s long gone. 

Sure, he thinks Daddy would like it too.

He grabs the knife that fell from when Higgs fucked up dinner and got him in this whole mess. It’s a small serrated knife, the only one they have for cooking. Daddy’s not even paying attention so he stabs at the side of Daddy’s throat and feels the blood gushing down on his own face now. He’s never seen this much blood before, but Daddy must like fucking while dying like he does because he shouts while he coughs up more blood on Higgs’ face, he chokes him harder, but his hips slow. He gets that, it takes a lot of strength when he’s losing light in his eyes, he’s had enough practice that he leaves all his energy to concentrate instead of focusing on the dizziness or his vision blurring. But the blood keeps coming down, now soaking Higgs’ neck and chest where his shirt’s rucked up and he feels Daddy’s hand loosen and suddenly his body crashes down on him. 

The adrenaline rush is starting to die down; Higgs came when he felt his throat bend under Daddy’s fat fingers right after he stuck Daddy in the neck. He can’t tell if Daddy came too because he was too focused on the rush, with blood flowing like a geyser and losing breath at the same time, but fuck is Daddy heavy as hell. 

He squirms when the blood not sandwiched between them starts to cool and shoves Daddy off so he can breathe again, coughing and spitting the blood out of his mouth. 

Well, he figures he’s probably got a few minutes to clean up before Daddy wakes up. He grabs another pair of pants since his were slashed open when Daddy got mad, wipes his face and chest so nothing drips down when he mops up the blood. He’s never had to clean this much before, but that’s because Daddy liked to choke him the most. Sometimes poison. Or sometimes just beat him way past black and blue so Higgs would hurt for days or weeks before finally dying. Daddy didn’t like a lot of blood for some reason. 

No matter, Higgs was cleaning it up anyway. 

Daddy hasn’t woken up yet so Higgs remakes dinner - not that he can do much with what they have, but he won’t burn it this time. But Daddy’s taking too long, the food’s getting cold and he’ll sure as hell get beaten for that too. 

He swears it’s been hours now, he’s got no way to check but the food’s cooled and the blood around Daddy’s stab wound is dry and crusty with no signs of him coming back—he always came back before anything dried, it never took long to find his body in the Seam. 

Maybe he’s out of practice? Or maybe Daddy’s taking his time away from Higgs. It’s the first time he’s seen Daddy die, after all, probably getting some peace and quiet away from him.

Higgs knows something’s wrong when he wakes up at the table and Daddy hasn’t moved an inch. Actually Daddy looks paler and blue so something’s happening, but it’s not anything he’s seen. 

Of all the times Higgs begged him with questions about the outside world, Daddy did say that a body will go necro if left for too long. Daddy told him about what happens outside of their bunker: the BTs and MULES and everything else trying to kill you the moment you stepped outside. But they were supposed to be safe here, because inside this door was their world and nothing else mattered except for their deliveries.

But how was Higgs supposed to know Daddy wouldn’t come back? How else could Higgs do it if not for him? It’s not like he’s seen Daddy die until now. Under his own hand too. Daddy’s been his world and now he’s gone and it’s all his fault.

He gathers his things carefully - he’s not dumb like he was the last time he tried to run away years ago. Grabs food, a pair of Daddy’s shoes since he doesn’t have any extras, and puts on Daddy’s clothes he’s seen him wear when he goes outside. Everything’s big on him because Daddy’s huge in comparison, but it’s better than Timefall getting on him.

He ties Daddy’s arms and legs together and drags him out the door. He wants to pause and look at the open world for the first time, but he’ll get his time. 

He’s gotta take care of Daddy first.

**Author's Note:**

> if there's a typo, don't tell me. i don't care anymore lmao


End file.
